Baby Black Hole

Well, as you can see on the left sidebar, we have less than three weeks remaining before my due date and thoughts of BABY are taking over.  My 30th birthday passed without much of a ripple because I've been so focused on preparing for our expanding family--well, that and I haven't told anybody anything that I want.  I probably am hard to shop for.  There just isn't that much that I want--apart from collecting dragons and books, I don't really like accumulating too much stuff, and nobody in my family can give me a successful VBAC or convince a publisher to buy my book--or even provide me with the time to edit the book first.  I know, I'm a pain that way.  Anyway, I've been so distracted I haven't even put much thought into mortality or youth versus aging or any of the things big milestone birthdays are notorious for making people ponder.  I've just been too preoccupied.

I am very much in Full-On Nesting Mode.  I know this because my writing output has dwindled to just working on the screenplay with hubby--no writing, rewriting, or editing of my own work during naptime or at night--and the voice inside my head that usually screams at me for being unproductive has been strangely silent.  I've all but forgotten about my goals to get at least two more stories submitted before baby's birth, and yet I don't feel bothered by that.  Mommy instincts are taking over my life.

There's been another reason for my lack of writing and online activity lately--at least for the last week.  My blood pressure has started going up which, considering that I got full-blown preeclampsia with my son and they had to deliver him two weeks early, could be problematic.  So I've been told to rest and put my feet up as much as possible.  Now, when you remember that I stay home with my active two-year-old during the day, this means that my only real chances to do so are during his naps and after he goes to bed--which is traditionally when I sit at my desk and write.  I've spent much of this time in my recliner instead, which means I haven't been at my computer much.  Writing, email, this blog, facebook--even reading Critters critiques--have all fallen on the backburner.  On the other hand, I've caught up on a huge stack of Parents magazines I thought I would never get through.

I have, however, decided that enough is enough.  I have a laptop and wifi, so there's no reason I can't keep up with writing from the recliner.  It's not comfortable for as long, but my lack of productivity ought to end--or at least be reduced.

My relationship with "enforced rest" is tenuous at best anyway.  I very much resented it when I was pregnant with my son, particularly since I still had a lot to do when they told me to take it easy.  I was not a very cooperative patient that time.  But mostly I resented the loss of control having a doctor tell me to reduce activity--and having my body stop behaving itself--implied.  I like to be in control.

I'm doing a lot better this time, partly because I don't want a repeat of what happened to my body last time and partly because there's a lot less to do.  And because this child is properly Head Down, which means my stress level is a lot less.  I'm still running errands but trying to limit their duration (no across-town marathons to see how many stops we can make in one day) and I'm still working on nesting, but in shorter bursts interspersed with periods of vegetating my my chair.  I'm also doing my utmost to keep my sodium intake low--and boy, unless you've tried it, you have no idea how difficult it is.  There's salt in EVERYTHING!!!  After I get home from the hospital, I intend to celebrate with a big plate of nachos!

The combination of low sodium, a million glasses of water a day, and multiple rest periods throughout the day hasn't brought my blood pressure down to normal, but it's remained only slightly elevated so my hopes are high that I won't be asked to restrict activity even more--or to deliver the baby early.  I've got another appointment tomorrow, and we'll see then whether they concur.

So that's what I've been up to for the past two weeks.  I hope my writing buddies won't cease stopping by when I say that this blog will probably take a major turn towards all things baby-and-child-related for a while.  If and when I have things to say on writing, along with occasional updates on what little I manage to get done (I intend to take a maternity leave from writing, and I'll detail what my "rules" for it are in another post soon--hopefully) then I will still post about such matters.  But the fact is that babies are time-consuming and all-encompassing, so that's probably most of what you'll be getting.

I hope my next absence won't be as long.  Best of luck in your own endeavors!