Pressure

I'm feeling the pressure begin to build.  For years, I've wanted to make money off of my writing, but now I feel as if I should be in a hurry to do so.  This is a very slow industry so I know that it won't happen quickly, even if I step up my production, but I can't help it.  You see, yesterday we got word that my husband's business is getting rid of 60% of the work force--and hubby will be getting the axe.

We won't be in trouble for a little while.  Between severance and savings, we'll be able to do all right, especially if we cut back on things.  But hubby's feeling a lot of pressure as he's been the sole breadwinner since Zaxxon's birth.  He didn't even like the job, but it was a "golden handcuffs" sort of situation--toxic environment, good pay, excellent benefits.  I'm feeling the pressure too.  I may need to rejoin the workforce, but I'm not really sure doing what.  However, childcare is expensive, so even if we're looking at a two income family again, the one who makes less will still have to make more than daycare expenses or it won't be worth it--not to mention that I don't want to send my babies to daycare.  It would be best if hubby or I could sell a piece of writing for a large chunk of money to get us by for a little while--but again, this industry is slow, the competition fierce, and the odds are low that a first sale would garner a large chunk of money.

The motivation I'm feeling isn't all bad.  If I can produce writing faster because of it, that's all to the good, even if it doesn't garner fast returns.  But right now none of us knows what the future is going to hold.  I may be on this blog more, or less, or I may continue it with scarcely another mention of this misfortune.  I don't know.  What I do know is that this feeling sucks.