Christmas through the Eyes of a Child

Three-year-olds don't have much (if any) memory of their previous Christmases, but they are capable of understanding much of what goes on, they get excited by all of the unusual activities, and their excitement is both infectious and heartening.  (They're also easily overwhelmed, but we take that in stride as best we can.)  For Christmas, I thought I'd share a few moments of Zaxxon enjoying the holiday, to remind myself to see Christmas through his eyes.

When I climbed up on the roof to put Christmas lights up (it's long been our tradition, except when I've been pregnant, for me to put them up and hubby to take them down) Zaxxon got really excited.  He started stringing pieces of yarn all over the bushes to "help" me decorate.  He also really wanted to get up on the roof.  Had it just been me, the answer would have been a non-negotiable NO, but hubby had a better feeling that he'd be able to keep him safe and under control, so I let hubby bring him up.  Can you say E-X-C-I-T-E-D?!!

I put up a few more lights on our bushes and trees, that same evening after dark.  Right after I started, a front blew in and it was quite cold and windy, but that didn't stop Zaxxon from running outside to see what I was doing and "help" some more--even without shoes on.  When you're three, excitement and novelty trump comfort--which is why we have parents to pull us back inside until we're properly clothed, I suppose.

When we announced we were going to put up our Christmas tree, Zaxxon got excited all over again.  "With presents under (it)?" he wanted to know.  Well, yes, later on, once we have presents to put under it.  There's a tree in our house.  How much more exciting can this time of year get?

He didn't have much patience for stringing garlands, but the way he bounced around the house after I called it quits belied how much fun he was having, regardless.

Seeing something awesome (probably a fire truck) at the holiday parade

Visiting Santa.  Santa's actually a little scary for this age group.  Zaxxon didn't want to sit on his lap, but he was willing to sit on mine--though first he wandered the room for a while, not wanting to get too close.  We had to remind him that Santa needed to know what to bring him on Christmas.

And what infant could resist the fuzzy pom pom on the end of Santa's hat?

Zaxxon had a wonderful time decorating the tree.  Even after we were finished (we did it in several installments) he kept telling us he wanted to decorate more.  It has proved quite a temptation though--there are only a few ornaments we permit him to play with, and he's had trouble keeping his hands off.

Getting to decorate the cookies he helped bake.  You're going to let me use frosting?!!!  YUM!!!

Christmas lights are very exciting to a three-year-old.  The whole night is lit up special. 

We spent one night just driving around, looking at everybody's lights.  We even stopped at a house near our old apartment, where they go completely nuts.



Even a chore like shoveling snow is fun when you're three.

As Christmas draws nearer, there's so much more anticipation.  There are presents under the tree now, which are not to be unwrapped until Christmas.  Zaxxon has been "playing" presents a lot, putting toys into an empty box or bag, closing it up, giving it to us and insisting we open it.  We've done a lot of baking, present wrapping, looking at lights, story reading, and finding an elf who migrates around our house each day.  We're eagerly awaiting the arrival of Santa, and of the special day spent with those we love.  Santa comes tonight.  Tomorrow, we enjoy the chaos.  This will be the first Christmas Zaxxon is likely to remember long-term, and is Kal'El's first Christmas period.  We will have fun.  We will rejoice.  We will probably drive one another just a little bit nuts.  Life is good.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!!!

Revising Drudgery

I've been stuck in a bit of a rut these past few weeks when it comes to revising.  When I did the first read through of my novel, I printed it up so I could make notes in the margins and I read it out loud while nursing Kal'El.  That was a great way to get back into it after months of focusing on stories.  None of my first edits were permanent (which is good because I've rejected some of them) and it also gave me a great way to combine working on my novel with doing something else.

Then I began actual revisions...or at least entering in the ones I made on paper during my first reading.  I realized that I needed to work backwards because otherwise my page number references--and the entire landscape of the story--would change before I made it more than ten pages in, making it that much more difficult to find where I was supposed to be.  So that's what I've been doing lately:  entering revisions into my novel backwards.  And I'm bored.

I think this is partly because I've already made these revisions so I'm not actively doing as much, but mostly because of the reverse order.  I'm not getting a sense of the novel's plot as I spottily work through it in the wrong order, so I'm not even getting involved in my own story.  As a result, I've been highly distractable and have stopped several times to work on short stories for a few days.  I'm somewhat torn on whether I should be allowing myself to deviate.  On the one hand, stories almost always flow best from me when the ideas are fresh, and many ideas are fresh right now.   On the other, if I get too distracted from my novel, I may never finish it.

The good news is that I'm nearly done with my first pass edits.  Soon I will be able to make more macro edits, do more research and add in several details that I glossed over on the first draft, and go through it in the right order again.  Soon.  And I'm hoping that will hold my attention much more readily, because I don't want working on this novel to be a chore.

I want to enjoy my work, the way I sometimes usually do, because it's the best work in the world.

Kid Crafts - Christmas again!

We continued with Christmas crafts this week, though they were mainly on the fly with little or no planning on my part.  I wanted to plan out crafts, but I just kept getting busy/distracted with other things.

The first thing I had him do was make a Santa hat.  I cut the paper to shape, drew a line where I wanted him to glue the cotton balls, and set him to work.  He did a great job of following my directions on this one.

He didn't know what he was making until we rolled it up after it had dried--and then he loved it.

We also made red and green playdough, to match the season.  He's getting better at helping over a hot stove.

Playing with the new dough.

He said he was making me.  Can't you see the resemblance?  (I have hair, at any rate)

I got this idea from my friend Sela.  Handprint reindeer.

Sela also gave me this idea:  a marshmallow snowman.

Zaxxon insists it's Frosty.  I thought we were done once it had three circles, but he wanted to continue for arms.

When I saw the idea on my friend's blog, I thought it would be a terrific way to get rid of stale marshmallows.  Zaxxon didn't seem to mind that they were stale.

He also helped me make gingerbread dough.  Flour everywhere, of course!

The next day he helped me bake the gingerbread, and some sugar cookies.

Though he was more interested in playing with the cookie cutters

He also decided he was going to wipe the table and wash some dishes.  Like I'm going to say No to that!  Even if I do have to do it over.



Linking up at Tot School.  Who knows how crafty/willing to plan I'll be next week.  Stay tuned!

This is starting to feel like a Mommy Fail

I've come to realize that my satisfaction with parenting is directly related to how cooperative my children are at bedtime.  Or more specifically, Zaxxon.

A few months ago, I was thinking of writing a post about whether or not the second baby was easier.  Kal'El seemed to be.  In fact, he seemed a lot easier--and in some respects, he is.  He took to nursing much better than Zaxxon did, though I was experienced so that was probably at least half of the equation.

Experience certainly is a major variable in making the second baby seem easier.  I've already seen most of what babies can throw at us and know how to respond:  I recognize tired and hunger cues, I already know that neither he nor I will fall apart if we go out in public, and I remember the basics of infant development.

As I was putting all this together, I realized that there was another factor that was making Kal'El seem much easier to handle--Zaxxon had entered a very difficult stage, both developmentally and emotionally.  This made Kal'El seem that much easier by comparison, because there is little babies can do to misbehave or test boundaries.  Zaxxon seemed to wait until Kal'El had been around a few months before showing signs of jealously.  I think it took him that long to realize, on a gut level, that Kal'El wasn't a temporary state of affairs.  He was never terribly aggressive toward his brother, but he became very needy, always wanting me to focus my attention on HIM, and he also seemed to decide that cooperation with anything I asked was optional.

Bedtimes, in particular, became a huge struggle.  I tried numerous tactics but quickly found myself hating that time of day.  It didn't matter how good of a day we had, getting him into bed took forever and put both of us in a bad mood.  Every time I tried to shift away from negativity and find a fun way to get ready for bed or a more gentle way to keep him in bed, it ceased working for one reason or another after only a day or two.  Whoever said that children thrive on routine because they know what's coming knows nothing about my son--he operates best if I can come up with something creative and new every day.  And I really don't feel that creative (which is scary, coming from a writer.)

However, before I could write this post two months ago, something clicked for Zaxxon.  I don't know what it was, but I was grateful for it.  Getting him to his bed still took a fair effort, but once he was there, he would stay put.  He would still often come out for one trip to the bathroom, but there was no more coming out every two minutes with a fresh request or simply to try and interact with us a little more.  No more of my trying to decide how many times to silently lead him back to his bed before taking toys from him as an incentive to stay put (and deciding whether I should break the silence to warn him before I did.)  No more feeling the I-just-want-five-minutes-without-worrying-about-you rage building up every evening.  It was heaven.

Unfortunately, it didn't last.  For the last three nights, he's begun to push his boundaries at bedtime again.  He's even shown signs that he'll make a good lawyer because he's looking for loopholes.  I tell him that if he comes out again he'll lose most of his stuffed animals, so he doesn't come out or open his door.  What he does do is knock (and then bang) on his door, trying to get me to open it for him.  When I finally get fed up, worried that he's going to wake his brother, I amend the rule to say that if he's out of bed or making noise, he'll lose animals.  He breaks the rule, and I take half his zoo away.  Then he asks me to tuck him in (again) and I'm so frustrated with him that I just flip the covers over him.  And then I feel bad.

I hate hating bedtime.  I want to cherish all these stages of my children's lives.  Zaxxon's at a very fun (if high-maintenance) age, and I want to enjoy it.  But my sanity as a parent necessitates having time to myself, and if my last interaction with him every evening is filled with frustration or anger, that mars my whole experience--and probably his.

I know I need to just take a deep breath and work through this.  Children are ever-changing, and sooner or later Kal'El will become independent enough to become difficult as well--and I'm sure he'll throw me curveballs that Zaxxon never thought of.  I'm just sad (and frustrated) that a behavior we thought was gone is returning with a vengeance.  Since it's been a few months since we've had to do anything, I need to make sure Zaxxon knows the rules before the lights are out and then stick to them without letting myself get worked up.  And I need to make sure that anger doesn't interfere with displays of affection (like tucking him in.)  I am the adult here, after all.

But sometimes, being the adult is hard.

This is how Zaxxon sees the world

As I was getting ready to make play dough the other day, Zaxxon started playing with the camera.  I was amused by many of his shots, and thought I'd share.

(I think I was wearing this same shirt the last time I let him take pictures)

(I like the way he captured the sky and trees on this one)

Kind of puts life in a different perspective, doesn't it?