Star Trek Christmas Carols

I have one friend with whom I bonded through Star Trek:  The Next Generation while growing up.  Not only did we enjoy watching it, we were convinced that we would write for the series one day--TNG considered unsolicited scripts for acceptance, after all.  Of course, in typical adolescent-fantasy fashion, we created characters for ourselves which took the starring roles in most of the "episodes" we outlined.  We even once wrote a letter to the script coordinator trying to convince her that we had enough ideas to keep the series running for a few more seasons and please don't cancel it.  She graciously sent us the submission and format guidelines in response.

Our large notebook of episode ideas is carefully hidden away, as befits any item revealing embarrassing adolescent fantasies that one likes to look through every few years for a good laugh.  However, I'll share one thing with you.  One year, we decided to rewrite Christmas Carols for Star Trek.  Most of them were horrible, having only some semblance of rhyme or coherence, but this particular one was fun, and withstands the test of time.  In honor of it being Christmas, I present:

"Jingle Borg"

Dashing through the galaxy, in a cubicle regenerative sleigh
O'er the solar systems we go, Assimilating all the way
We'll tell you you're irrelevant, Resistance is futile
We'll stick some black things in your head and you will never smile

Chorus:
Jingle Borg, Jingle Borg, Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a cubicle regenerative sleigh
Oh, Jingle Borg, Jingle Borg, Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride in a cubicle regenerative sleigh

Now you can join the game, we'll take away your name
Burst planets into flame, and never feel the shame
Resistance is useless, you can never hide
We'll stick some black things in your head and you'll be Borg-i-fied!

Chorus


MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!