Welcome to the blog of science fiction author Eileen Rhoadarmer--where science fiction and Mommyhood collide!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Oh. My. God.

I truly had no grasp of the extent that toddler messes could encompass until yesterday.

The day started well enough--my husband took the day off from work and we made a trip up to Lookout Mountain.

We hiked a bit (our son did really well, and only wanted to be carried at the end) and had a picnic at the overlook by Buffalo Bill's gravesite.

We were rather late for naptime by the time we left, and hubby had quite a job keeping our son awake during the ride back (if he sleeps in the car, he won't transition well to the crib.)  Despite hubby's best efforts, our son caught a few z's on the way back and perked up as we tried to put him down for his nap.  As a result, he cried for a good long time before finally settling down for sleep.

When he woke up from his nap, he woke up screaming.  I went into his room to find out why he sounded so upset, and a monstrous sight met my eyes.  Apparently he'd pooped earlier, and managed to pull off is sleepsack and reach into the diaper to get ahold of it.  It must've been quite an exploratory journey, given that he's never been allowed to play with his poop before.  He put a big smear of it on the mattress, bits of it on most of the rails of his crib, and a smaller smear on the wall.  His bear and one of his bunnies looked (and smelled) okay, but the second bunny had a few spots.  Of course, he'd also managed to get it all over himself--hands, arms, feet, legs, torso... yes, his face too.  In fact, there was a bit beside his mouth, making me wonder if he'd decided to sample it.  Son, that's not fudge.  I can only hope he learned not to repeat that particular aberration.  Then, after this incredible exploration, he somehow managed to sleep.

We plopped him straight into the tub, removed his clothes in there, and hosed him off first.  Then I had hubby occupy him in the sink while I cleaned out the tub--and cleaned off the bath toys.  (Silly Mommy, it would've been SO much easier to remove the toys BEFORE putting the poo-covered child into the bathwater!  Why did you make more work for yourself?)  Then I gave him a proper bath while hubby removed the sheets and wiped off the crib.

After his bath, we wiped the crib down again, this time using 409.  Then I wiped them down with lemon juice--but some of the slats still smell upon close inspection.  I'm not quite sure what to do about that.  I just never imagined he would spread it around so much.  I mean, it smells!  Why would ANYBODY want to play with it?  Ick!  Toilet training, despite the impending move, is looking more and more appealing--though I STILL don't want to deal with regression during upcoming vacations or after we move, or with trying to sell a house that smells like a latrine.

I'm sure other parents probably have similar mess stories.  If you care to share, I'll be here to sympathize!


Cyndy Rhoadarmer said...

Fortunately, this beats anything any of my kids did. I bet hubby is sure glad he took the day off! LOL I have some cleaner to let you use. It's called Thieves household cleaner. It takes wax off walls and fingernail polish out of rugs, so I bet it can tackle poo wherever it might be hiding. And it has a nice clean scent! You really do need to submit some of these stories along with your science fiction. They keep me rolling on the floor!

Dean Rhoadarmer said...

I'm glad to know that I didn't do such a thing when I was a baby. It wasn't payback!

Sue Lewczyk said...

Well, Eileen didn't play with her poop either....you guys are paying back for some other kind of transgression. Too, too funny! :)